Bullet holes in airplanes and other challenges

There’s a famous story about World War II planes that survived attacks. They were studied to see where they had been hit, and the results were mapped. The map showed some dense clusters of hits, and some experts recommended that planes be reinforced in these areas. But Abraham Wald disagreed. Wald argued that they should […]

The body changes the story

We all know that looking after our bodies can help both our mental experience and our productivity in the world. But it seems to require so much effort and support. We need time and money to get to the gym, change our eating habits, or get enough hours of sleep. Often, the big changes in […]

From seething to focus

Do you remember the moment? For me, it came when I was in grade one. I wanted to love school and love my teacher. But the teacher who was nice to me was mean to another child. And once, she made the whole class sit on our hands as punishment for something only a few […]

Gentle doesn’t mean you’re not tough

Our next series of workshops is called Gentle, Reliable Change. I had to think hard about using the word “gentle.” People react as if it means soft or nice or comfortable. I think it means something more like “in enough control to waste no effort.” We may think of the weak as gentle, but the […]

What’s stopping you?

The people who arrive at NLP Canada Training are often ready to get to know themselves better. But I wonder about the people who don’t make it into the workshops. Do they think that digging deeper means uncovering all the sore spots? Do you think that self discovery means diagnosing what is wrong with you? […]

Holding the flashlight

Sometimes, we have to depend on ourselves to shine the flashlight so we can move forward. A bright spot in memory is like a spotlight on a stage: it shows you one thing in bright light and dims out the surroundings. To turn that bright spot into a flashlight, you have to point the light differently so that it helps you focus or move in a new direction. You can easily imagine doing it with a real flashlight.

Do you need a plan or a flashlight?

Have you ever tried to follow a map in the dark? While it’s great to have an image of the steps you need to take, it’s not easy to apply if you can’t see the way forward. It’s often true that we make plans, and then it gets dark: something changes in the world around […]

How to set goals that work for you

Too often, people think they know what they want without understanding what it will take or how it will fit into their lives. Then instead of rethinking, they ask a coach to help them commit. But you should only commit to goals that will help you create the life you want to live. Why is […]

A simple model for making change

When I wrote my first book, Living Your Purpose, I printed the summary on the front of a postcard. I wanted to show people that using the fingers on one hand, they could remember how to make change for themselves and others. All change starts with building awareness of the situation you are currently experiencing. […]

Coaching presence with NLP

If you’ve studied at a coaching school, you know that coaching presence is one of the ICF core competencies. The description can be confusing in that it’s not easy to know how to be curious, engaged, manage your emotions, and allow space for reflection, all at the same time. People deal with the problem either […]