I don’t like rules and break them whenever it seems helpful. But If we think of rules as lines that separate out lanes so people can move safely, then these are rules to help you notice how to introduce better questions into your conversations.
- Be curious about the answer. Don’t try to trick people into saying something they only partly mean or to taking the next step in your process. Instead, ask a question you’re interested in exploring.
- Some questions don’t have question marks. Tell a story that is somehow incomplete or not quite linked to the rest of the conversation. Our brains love to recognize and complete patterns and something unresolved invites exploration.
- Be patient. The best questions don’t give a straight line to a next step. They lead to an answer that is incomplete or not quite right and that leads to a story and that leads to a change. It’s more efficient and more effective to let the process work than it is to push for quick compliance or decisions.
These are rules like the lines on the page. There are situations where you will break them and get a result you want. There are more situations where you’ll develop better relationships and better solutions because you followed the lines that keep things clear and keep things moving.
