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Blog

16 September 2022

Betting on Yourself Means Practice

There’s research on the difference between people who always need the best and people who always need to meet their own criteria. The first group are called maximizers: they are often exhausted by the need to explore all possibilities before making a choice. The others are called satisficers…
16 September 2022

Keep Working at It

You probably know a version of the story where you fall in love at first sight with a handsome prince, or the one where you work hard to deserve true love, the story where you travel far to follow your heart or the one where it turns out your true love has been with you all along.
16 September 2022

Realism Needs to Partner With Dreams

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” George Bernard Shaw
16 September 2022

We Go Further When We Build on Each Other’s Efforts

There’s no such thing as individual excellence. Watch your favourite sports star –then watch the coaches, the trainers, the medical staff, and the fans. All of them have a role to play in providing resources, knowledge, support and motivation to the star. And those are just the people that are easy to see.
16 September 2022

Pulled Between Self-Knowledge and Influence

How do you feel about being pulled in two directions at once? On the one hand, many NLP practices are about congruence, the alignment of all parts of you towards a single outcome. We don’t achieve this by cancelling out half of the equation. We look for a frame big enough to hold differences…
16 September 2022

When Work Leads to a Dead End, Try Play Instead

People are sometimes puzzled when I say that play is a powerful state. They think of power as requiring work, and play as being something you do if you can find some time.
16 September 2022

Are You Willing to Be Silly if It Gets You a Result?

What do you do to prepare for the stuff that takes your best thinking or your best presence? It sometimes seems that conditioning yourself is a grim, disciplined process. But discipline will only take you so far.
16 September 2022

It’s Harder to Communicate With the People We Know Well

At least one study has shown that people who agreed to talk to the person next to them on a commuter train experienced better commutes, even when they said they’d rather sit quietly by themselves. This study is often used to show that we are all happier when we connect.
16 September 2022

The Heart of Communication Is Attention

I’m just starting to read a book called The Language Game and I just finished reading The Power of Fun. At the same time, I’m preparing new evening workshops on connection and communication. All of this work reinforces one core idea. The heart of communication is not the words you choose: it’s the attention you give.
16 September 2022

Clear Language Gets Under Your Skin

What do you do when you want someone to remember what you tell them? You might be giving instructions or motivating someone to take a next step. If people don’t remember what you’ve said, they are much less likely to take action.