Some of the ability to make change depends on being able to understand other people. The process is simple but not easy: Observe the other’s behaviour closely and without judgement Use your observations to form an interpretation of the behaviour Find a way to verify your interpretation

People need both flexibilty and strength to withstand external change and maintain their sense of who they are and how they are connected in the world. Although people rarely know how to say it, what they want to develop is the confidence that they will do more than just get through change: they will stay themselves through it.

Whatever is scary in you is something you are already living with. You don’t have to be scared you can’t handle you: you’ve always handled you. When you are curious about yourself (instead of judging yourself), you will find unexpected strengths and perspectives that open up new possibilities for your. You might find passion, or purpose, or peace. But you will only find them if you have the courage to look inside.

Even simple exercises in taking stock of our own physiology can have significant, positive impacts on how we understand our interactions. This is not ‘touchy feely.’ This is evidence-based neuroscience. It’s not the way your individual mind works: it’s the way everyone’s brain/body systems work.

Sometimes you will hear yourself say “I don’t know why I said that” or “I just had a feeling it was the right choice.” This is sometimes evidence that you are connected to your intuition. At other times, it is evidence that your left hand doesn’t know what your right hand is doing. Self knowledge makes the same requirements of you that other knowledge does. You need to seek information and then you need to put in an effort to understand how that information fits together and how it is useful to you. It’s hard work, and it’s the only way that learning happens on purpose.

Begin with the question: “in a situation where there isn’t enough light or logic to see clearly, what do I most need to be able to see?” And the answer comes from a bright spot, a time you paid attention to the right thing so that you liked the opportunities you found or the thing you achieved. Now you can point your attention at the same kind of thing in your current situation. T