Podcasts

Have you ever caught a bad mood from someone else? Then you’ve experienced the downside of rapport. While many people believe that you should match and mirror behaviours and expressions to build a connection, they’re missing a key element. When you match and mirror, you take on the state of the other person. A state is the way that person is experiencing the world. It includes emotions and also ‘feelings’ like focus or determination.

If you pick up a state that works for you, that’s great. But what do you do when you want to connect with someone who is frustrated or distracted or discouraged?

In our workshop in the Everyday Rapport series, participants went through a series of exercises designed to give them choices beyond matching and mirroring. They learned to notice change in themselves as they connect, and verify whether the state they are experiencing started with their partner. They thought about connecting with family members in different situations and noticed how efficiently states can be amplified between people who know each other well.

Finally, we remind participants that they can make a choice. If they don’t like the state they are mirroring, they can use attention and language to stay engaged and only match and mirror with their bodies when they see a state that they want to stabilize and amplify.

This episode is based on our workshop called Everyday NLP: Emotions. In it, Linda guides you through mapping an everyday ugly state, shifting submodalities to move into a more useful state, and then setting an intention that includes your feelings, your impact on another person, and your impact on your situation. Experience the difference you can make with simple tools and practice using them.

Do you need to be inspired? Or would being motivated push you to solve a problem or achieve a goal? This 20 minute episode walks you through how inspired and motivated help you see how people interpret language, how observing others can enable us to do the next thing or to do the right thing, and how to integrate inspiration with action to get things done.

Who are you? The parts of you that you know directly are your mind and your body and they are connected. When you change one, you change the other.

This episode recaps a live workshop on making simple physical changes that open up your thinking just enough to notice a way to move forward on a situation that has you stuck or makes you uncomfortable.

You’re not living in a sitcom. If you were, then you would find a solution to every problem in about 22 minutes. Real life takes longer.

In a workshop last week, we explored three ways to make a change in a habit or pattern. Since most of what we do is the result of unconscious patterns that our brain applies to our current situation, habits are important to us and often resist change.

This podcast walks you through the three approaches we took in the workshop and shows you how they represent one process for addressing a problem repeatedly until  you form a new pattern and get a result you like.

Are you as curious about the moments when life is good as you are about the times when something goes wrong? Humans are naturally focused on problems: we want to avoid them if we can and solve them if we can’t. But when we are curious about the things that go right we set ourselves up for the states and behaviours that make life good.